And Today's Headlines...

Building explodes in Milwaukee Beer EVERYWHERE! Perhaps it was Hop-i-cide (which is not to say a bunch of Native americans killed themselves).

Taco Bells pulls green onions in E. coli scare Like Taco Bell wasn't sickening ANYWAY (OK, really GOOD, but sickening). It's not like it's salad.


Dobbs: Our leaders are ducking reality on Iraq Lou Dobbs is SO cranky about everything "administration" now that he's hard to listen to.

Scaramella: I warned poisoned spy "Ummm... Don't eat that Taco Bell burrito ... DON'T ! I don't CARE if it's 2:00AM and we've been drinking vodka all night...DOOOON'T!!!"

Glue problems could gum up shuttle launch Well, you see, when your entire space program relies on ELSIE the ELMER's GLUE COW, you are basically screwed. "This is WALTER CRONKITE... The latest shuttle launch was scrubbed today because the RUBBER BAND on the CAPE CANAVERAL SLINGSHOT is broken."

CNNMoney: Yahoo makes management changes OK ... I got nothin'

Report: Cheney's lesbian daughter pregnant This was cruel, but great! This morning this story was being read on the radio and after they finished saying "Dick Cheney's lesbian daughter announced that she is pregnant." they cut away to a voice clip of Mr. Cheney in a previous interview saying "You can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig."

Anti-Bush 'bat signal' ticks off neighborhood "I SOOO want to see this ... shining up against the dark night sky... What would the signal BE? The word "Decider" with a circle and slash through it? Or is it just a picture of a bat?

Oprah's lost her way, gone white, rapper says So some rapper makes what is basically a racist comment about a black woman and it's OK? Haven't we JUST had weeks of pontificating about that very double standard? It's not racism to call an idiot and idiot. By the way - I hate Oprah, but that has nothing to do with anything.

Report: Jennifer Aniston, Vince Vaughn split up OK ... Yeah. So what? Or is she going to now be seen hanging with Paris Hilton and Brittney while going 'commando"?