And the Son of Tammy Faye Shall Lead Them...

Found this article to be an interesting and refreshing approach to Christianity:

http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/12/13/bakker.brown.commentary/index.html


I liked what he had to say.

I also was greatly amused by all of the hard core posters who commented that EVEN THOUGH Jesus' message was one of love and forgiveness, etc., Christianity is still all about JUDGMENT!

Whatever.

People just like to be able to say, "I am better than you, and as proof, I give you 'X'!" Now in some cases, "X" is a hefty bank account, country club membership, or vacation home. And if you are in high school, "X" is probably (from what I recall) the "right" clothes, hairstyle, friends, etc. In other cases, "X" is my religion and my pious, devout lifestyle.

Unfortunately for those dolts, in Christianity piety and devotion walk hand-in-hand with a little thing Christ was fond of called HUMILITY. And, since you cannot hold yourself up above others and still call yourself humble; these are the exact sort of people that Jesus would tell to piss off, if he ever met up with them.

Jesus Christ didn't judge people, he left that up to his Father. In fact, he did the opposite. He not only sought out, but embraced the sinners and despised members of his society. He did not ask or demand that they change their ways in order to receive His love and community. He gave His love freely to all that invited Him into their lives.

Does that sound like the current Christian movement in this country?

Not by a long shot.

Inspired By A Lame Customer Service Meeting

This annoying meeting came complete with a video set to what sounded an awful lot like porn music and a workbook! Because we are not adults and professionals! We are pre-schoolers (who respond to porn music, apparently)!

*ahem*

Customer Service:
Be prompt. Be nice. Be helpful.
This means you, Jackass!

Citizen 'Cane'

SASSETTE's ADVENTURES CHRISTMAS TREE SHOPPING:

My brother, sister and I all pile out of my brother's truck (where they made me ride in the pull-out jump seat in the back - since I am the smallest) at this garden shop that looks like a log cabin.

They are selling all manner of Christmas flora and fauna, and had a lovely, rustic front porch with a life-sized Santa in a rocking chair.

Just as we are almost directly in front of the Santa "doll" - he moves.

I am in the middle of telling my sister, "blah, blah, oh, look they have a life-size Sant - OhMyGod! It's a REAL Santa!!

(Sassette disclaimer: I adore the legend of Santa and usually finagle some lap-time even now, if I see one)

So, I run up to Santa and breathlessly say, "Hi Santa!" and put my hand out to shake his hand.

He peers at me quizzically over his cute little glasses and says "Well, hello there. Do you still believe?"

I, of course, respond, "Absolutely!"

Still looking at me funny, he inquires if I have been a good girl; to which I naturally reply, "Definitely."

(Xen Disclaimer: "Yeah, RIIIIGHT" That depends on what the definition if 'IS' is ... Just sayin')
(Sassatte: Shut up)

He gives me one more strange look, then smiles and offers me a candy cane and wishes me Merry Christmas.

I run triumphantly back to brother and sister (who watched this whole scene) brandishing my candy cane.

They are staring at me with their mouths open.

I am all like, "WHAT?"

My brother tells me I am too cute or something, and my sister tells me that Santa appears to think that I am mentally handicapped and that she and my brother probably appear to be my parents.

She is dying laughing.

I am devastated.
Sis is hysterical.
Bro is amused.
Santa continues to eyeball me the entire time I am at the tree place.

Then as we go to leave, as I am trying to climb into the back of the truck and into the stupid jump-seat; I slip and fall out of the truck.

My sister catches me by the ass and shoves me into the back.

I look out of my window and see to my horror that Santa saw the whole thing.

(Xen: Well, after all - He KNOWS when you've been sleeping ... AND he knows when you've been at the Christmas tree shop without your helmet)
(Sassette: Shut it, I said)

THE END

You Keep Me Breathless

Xen had to run in the parking garage today because of the dark, dreary, rainy, soul-sucking weather. Thus is presented:

The Coro Running Haiku
Running the Coro Garage
Spiral up and down
Concrete pathway to Asthma.

Xen is a DOLT...

Last night, for the 'ahem' (insert a large number here, roughly equivalent to "a shitload")th time, I watched "How the Grinch Stole Christmas".

I am always amazed at how they were able to put all that manual drawing work into the thousands and thousands of frames necessary to make a mere 20+ minutes of cartoon come to life ~ and that it has lasted as a viable Christmas story for all these years. I've often wondered if it will last after all of our generation is gone.

In the mean time, it's still a great story and is full of excellent cartoon comedy.

"Max" the dog RULES!

But - and here's the part where I am a TOTAL idiot - I don't think that I ever knew that the song "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch" was done by Thurl Ravenscroft (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thurl_Ravenscroft), who is known the world over as the voice of tony the Tiger. How can I have lived all this time and not known that? Did I grow up in a BOX?

And I also never knew that Cindy Lou Who's voice was provided by June Foray (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/June_Foray), who did the voices for Rocky Squirrel (I'm sorry.. Rocket J. Squirrel) and Natasha Fatale.

I have apparently just been returned to earth by aliens. Which would explain a lot.

Like, did you also know that they have these ALREADY COOKED DINNERS all packed in tin foil (that used to be called Alcoa Wrap - heh, I'm way up on this technology thing) and you just put 'em in the gas oven for a while and they're ready to eat?

This is incredible stuff....

The Simple Girl: Non-News

Xen:

From CNN.COM~

"BURBANK, California (AP) -- Nicole Richie was arrested early Monday for investigation of driving under the influence of alcohol, authorities said.
California Highway Patrol officers took Richie, 25, into custody without incident after she failed a field sobriety test, CHP Officer Todd Workman said.
Her black Mercedes sport utility vehicle was stopped in the car pool lane of State Highway 134 when officers arrived.
Authorities said they received 911 calls about a car going the wrong way on the freeway and the car matched the description of Richie's."

=======



Amazingly, contrary to the current celebrity trend, Ms. Richie did NOT launch into any sort of racist tirade while being booked at the station. She said nothing disparaging against Jews, Blacks, gays, Hermaphrodites, women, the Greeks, Italians, or the French. Neither did she rant against dwarfs, little people, midgets, tall people, giants, people with elephantitis, mimes, clowns nor southerners.


She WAS overheard asking where Eric Estrada was, having been arrested by CHP Officers, however. She was told it was his day off. It was just easier.



In further developments, in light of Ms Richie NOT creating any kind of scene, her agent immediately quit, saying that there is no way she can manage Nicole's career if she is going to cooperate.



Sassette:

In light of the fact that Ms. Ritchie has been subsisting on booze alone in recent months (witness photo evidence below)...

alcohol manufacturers scrambled today to identify her intoxicant of choice. Advertisers dove into work on a new ad campaign tentatively titled, "Woman can live on [booze name] alone."