The Simple Girl: Non-News

Xen:

From CNN.COM~

"BURBANK, California (AP) -- Nicole Richie was arrested early Monday for investigation of driving under the influence of alcohol, authorities said.
California Highway Patrol officers took Richie, 25, into custody without incident after she failed a field sobriety test, CHP Officer Todd Workman said.
Her black Mercedes sport utility vehicle was stopped in the car pool lane of State Highway 134 when officers arrived.
Authorities said they received 911 calls about a car going the wrong way on the freeway and the car matched the description of Richie's."

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Amazingly, contrary to the current celebrity trend, Ms. Richie did NOT launch into any sort of racist tirade while being booked at the station. She said nothing disparaging against Jews, Blacks, gays, Hermaphrodites, women, the Greeks, Italians, or the French. Neither did she rant against dwarfs, little people, midgets, tall people, giants, people with elephantitis, mimes, clowns nor southerners.


She WAS overheard asking where Eric Estrada was, having been arrested by CHP Officers, however. She was told it was his day off. It was just easier.



In further developments, in light of Ms Richie NOT creating any kind of scene, her agent immediately quit, saying that there is no way she can manage Nicole's career if she is going to cooperate.



Sassette:

In light of the fact that Ms. Ritchie has been subsisting on booze alone in recent months (witness photo evidence below)...

alcohol manufacturers scrambled today to identify her intoxicant of choice. Advertisers dove into work on a new ad campaign tentatively titled, "Woman can live on [booze name] alone."